Friday, March 31, 2006

My Vendetta against V

V For Vendetta
Directed by: James Teague
Starring: Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman

I personally felt that this film was a little over hyped. There are a lot of films that hit the market and have a pre-built fan base (Batman, Superman, X-Men…y’know…the “men” people) where the foaming-at-the-mouth fans are just dying for justice to be done to their beloved comic book/novel/TV show/ whatever.

Seriously though, who the fuck read V for Vendetta? Besides the fat smellys that live and work at the comic book store? For those that don’t know, Alan Moore is the writer and co-creator of V for Vendetta and has written lots of other comics and won awards and is a crazy liberal Brit that hates Hollywood and everything to do with the system. Which may be the sanest thing about him.

Because Hollywood is a joke. But that’s another story. Anyways, Moore and his collaborator/artist David Lloyd went about to create a thought-provoking tale of a fascist regime being disrupted by a “terrorist” by the name of “V” who wants to end the regime and bring about a more fair and balanced society.

Sounds simple enough and from what I hear the graphic novel is filled with Moore’s radical, philosophical views. Good enough. Most comic books are. Especially today.

What bothers me about V for Vendetta is the liberty the screenwriters/filmmakers have taken to link the themes of fascism and terrorism with the current climate of the world, most notably drawing parallels with the U.S.

The U.S. is obviously being compared to the “dystopian England” and the ruler of this nazi-like regime is supposed to mirror President Bush. And of course, we have the views that Christianity is involved, making all other religions seem evil. Then there are the homosexual overtones, namely the regime’s control over the gay population, meaning their execution of said homosexuals (a la the nazi’s to the Jews).

Then, of course, there is our protagonist, who is a terrorist. He sets out to destroy the “regime” by using acts of terror; blowing up buildings and killing various people.

However, the people he kills are people that tortured or were involved in the torture of people that were taken into a “concentration camp” where numerous experiments were tested on them, including himself. V was once one of these experimentees now out for blood.

So, in reality, he isn’t fighting for a just cause or a free society, he’s fighting for revenge. The revenge, however, he believes will lead to a free society. Or something like that. He never really says if he wants a “free” society, he just seems to want the current regime to end. (Does this sound familiar? *cough* liberal)

In true terrorist fashion, “V” as he refers to himself, simply wants blood and through that vengeance he thinks he will bring about…something…for the repressed people of England.
Let’s not forget that we also have the resident Dick Cheney look-alike, who of course, in the liberal-minded world, actually controls everything from the inside, including the President himself. And wouldn’t you know it, ol’ V strangles the life out of him at the end. Of course, the truth of the matter is, V is a lot more resourceful than any liberal, as most liberals are only as brave as to throw a rock at an armed and shielded police officer or to write a few harsh words in a poetic prose that nobody understands.

In short, we’re safe from the sissies. There are no liberals at war. What does that tell you?

Okay, I’m getting sidetracked. With good reason. So, hang in there.

Now, Natalie Portman. Oh, Natalie. Natalie “Stop Wars” Portman. Why, why, why? Why do you have to be so hot and talented and so mind-fucked by the Hollywood regime?

I understand that you’re from Israel. God help you, that place is fucked up enough as it is. But, you live and work in America. It gives you millions of dollars and you take your little Hollywood spotlight and turn it into your radical platform to let us all know that, hey, I’m cute, so you should listen to my mind-numbingly na├»ve beliefs about the world.

So, you say, Paul, why are you giving us your right wing bullshit review? Well, because a) I am right wing b) right wingers may not be perfect, but we’re the most sane of all of them and c) V for Vendetta is offensive to my right wing radar.

Natalie will be referred to as “Stop Wars” for the rest of this review. So, Stop Wars is this little Brit Bitch who works at a TV station and is rescued by V one day from a bunch of “Gestapo-like” police who catch her after curfew. For whatever reason, V takes a fancy to her (probably the supple little ass) and takes her under his wing, so to speak.

V goes one by one, killing everyone that was somehow involved in his torture at a concentration camp, each character resembling a version of some political figure today. They even go as far as to have a priest who arranges to have girls dressed up in Bonnet-like outfits delivered to his room for sex, which, of course, V must attend to. Naturally, we have Stop Wars all dressed up in this hot little get-up, sent in to tantalize the horny priest. I don't know about you, but Stop Wars in that dress, looking as hot as she did could very well entice any man into a "sinful" situation. Not that I'm giving the thumbs up for the Priest, but hey, if it were me...

We are treated to a handful of characters that are repressed from the government and of course, they’re all homos who read the Koran and collect porno. I’m not kidding.

The movie really tries to get the audience wrapped up in the homosexual themes of love and acceptance, because, of course, it’s now forbidden. So, naturally, just about everyone is a repressed homosexual because of it.

Stop Wars is caught one day while trying to escape the Gestapo (again) and is put in a prison where she is tortured for information, starved, and fed notes through her cell from another prisoner; a gay woman who wants to write about the love she shared with her girlfriend.

What? Seriously, I’m not kidding. Stop laughing, it’s true.

Then, the bombshell. It was V all along who captured and tortured her. One day he opens the cell and tells her she is going to be executed. She accepts her fate and says she’s not afraid to die. V tells her that she is now truly free and reveals that it was actually him that was torturing her and feeding her the notes (homo-hope) and that she is now ready to face the world (and strap bombs to her chest and blow people up).

So, from this point, V sets in motion his plan to kill the President and Vice President, brainwash the public into dressing up like him and marching to Parliament, where they will be treated to its destruction.

I’m not a right wing nut, but seriously…can we spell L-I-B-E-R-A-L-F-A-N-T-A-S-Y?

Of course V is dead from his end battle, so it’s up to Stop Wars to pull the lever on the train full of explosives (and V’s body…of course) and to send it screeching into Parliament and blowing it up, turning Stop Wars into a terrorist herself.

And we’re supposed to applaud this?

In the end, Stop Wars lends us her voice over, saying that V gave the people hope. I was seriously shocked. Hope? By blowing up the government, murdering people, and creating all out chaos?

I would love to see a sequel to V for Vendetta that takes place the day after they blew up Parliament and see how much hope is circling. I’m not saying that the people were happy with their “regime” but if you want to draw parallels to radical change in a society that has been repressed for a long period of time, turn on CNN (or Fox News if you’re me) and you’ll see.

It takes time and it’s a painful changeover. Perhaps hope exists in what may come, but normally there is a deep and difficult divide before a society can change its ways. We are learning the hard way now. And we are actually proactive about it. V didn’t rebuild or help in any way to form a new government. He just blew shit up and threw his knives. And recruited more people to blow shit up and throw knives.

Now, the film. By filmmaking standards, it’s pretty entertaining. The action sequences are pretty cool, even if their literal translation is kind of ridiculous. The music score by Dario Marianelli is the best I’ve heard so far this year and it deserves to be in a better movie.

Overall, though, the aesthetic portion of this film can’t save its story, which is ridiculous and not well thought out at all. In typical liberal fashion. I feel as if I’m watching someone’s opinions translated into a comic book film to brainwash the masses. However, since my brain is on the “right” track, that’s not going to happen.

Unfortunately, there are tons of V for Vendetta websites that celebrate this. Sure, it’s a bunch of moronic teenagers that are looking for a venue for their angst (like most teenage comic book readers) but it’s surely not the best venue.

But, it’s a comic book movie, Paul! Oh, shut up. No shit. That’s what it’s supposed to be. But if the extreme liberal creator of this story won’t even endorse it, what does that tell you?

Enjoy this movie as a piece of propaganda on terrorism and you’ll have a good time. Try to enjoy it any other way and you’ll find yourself cringing like I did. Unless you're a liberal. Then, you're fucked.

Right now, Insurgents in Iraq are watching this movie and clapping and cheering. Soon we will see a tirade of them running amok in the streets of Baghdad wearing a Guy Fawkes mask and screaming in Arabic “Remember, Remember the 11th of September!”

Calm down, I'm kidding. They wouldn't dare wear a mask...right?