Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Apprentice Finale:
My Two Cents

All right, so probably none of my seven readers watch The Apprentice. Well, too bad for you. Having invested an hour every Thursday night to Trump madness I must express my opinion on the final moments of the 4th season.

I’m not going to go over all the candidates or any of that shit, but I will talk about the final two. We have Randall, a Rhodes Scholar (I don’t know the significance of this, but those of you that want to look it up, have at it) from Jersey who has a degree from MIT and lots of other junk. Runs a consulting firm with three others and does lots of business-type things.

Then, there’s Rebecca, a 23-year-old financial journalist who has done quite a lot for such a young woman. She’s been involved in fund-raising since she was 15 and is also well educated. She’s also hot.

Anyways, Rebecca and Randall both endured two significant challenges that none of the other candidates had to endure. Randall’s grandmother died somewhere in the first few episodes and he chose to continue with the show. Rebecca broke her ankle around the same time and also chose to stay. With these two significant challenges, one physical, one emotional, they both pulled through and made it to the final two.

In their final tasks, they each had their own share of hoops to jump through, however I did feel that Rebecca’s task was done much more professionally. Randall plodded through his task and didn’t pay enough attention to details.

Now, here’s the clincher. Randall is a black man. In the past three seasons of The Apprentice, Trump has hired two white males and one white female. The crack-headed media decided that this must be racially motivated, which is just ridiculous. Entertainment Weekly did a two-page spread on this after the third season, blasting the show and calling it racist. Personally, I think Entertainment Weekly is racist for its attempt to create a controversy of race that didn’t exist.

So, with the outcry of not hiring a black man as The Apprentice, the pressure was put on and I have no doubt that the issue was addressed when seeking candidates for season four. It almost seems like they handpicked Randall to win. Rebecca never stood a chance.

After they dragged through the live two-hour finale, the moment came and Trump hired Randall. Ecstatic and jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean, Trump called Randall back to the table and asked him if he thought Rebecca also deserved to be hired.

Just before that, my wife and I thought for sure Trump would hire them both, as it would fit with the theme of his mass firings over the season as opposed to just firing only one candidate per episode. I thought this would be a great way to go and set a great trend for the next season, giving the next bout of candidates both new and false hope, creating a great air of uncertainty. It would’ve been perfect!

So, Trump tells Randall he trusts his opinion and wants to know what he thinks about hiring on Rebecca as well. Randall basically holds Rebecca’s career at his fingertips and what does he say?

He says, “Fuck that bitch.”

Okay, not in those exact words, but he says no. There should be only one apprentice, not two and that’s the way it should be. Trump can’t argue as he set himself up to agree with Randall’s response and lets it stand at that.

Rebecca, shattered, browbeaten, the carpet pulled out from under her has now lost not only once but TWICE.

Now, the argument could be that, hey, it is THE apprentice, not the apprentices. Sure, but in that one second, when Randall could’ve shown his true heart, which he played up all season long as his great attribute, he showed a really nasty side and completely changed my opinion about him and my feelings toward watching the show the whole season.

Yeah, perhaps he was more qualified. I felt that he should’ve been one of the final candidates to begin with, but man, talk about a turnaround. In just a few seconds, Randall went from upstanding guy to fiendish asshole.

Now, I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that applaud that he said no, I’m the only one and that’s it. And perhaps they’re right. Perhaps it’s my own personal outlook on the situation that sways me to feel otherwise, but I think that Randall displayed more cutthroat antics than he did admirable leadership skills.

So, fuck Randall. Let’s not forget that Rebecca is smokin’ hot, which has nothing to do with her qualifications, but…wait, where was I goin’ with that?

Damn woman, clouding my judgment. Yeah, fuck Randall. And fuck Trump for not putting Randall in his place and hiring her like he wanted to. Had I been an executive producer on that show I would’ve pushed to hire both candidates, as it would’ve provided such a great base for the next season.

So, tomorrow I’m going to get a “Fuck Randall” t-shirt made and nobody will know what the fuck it means. I’ll explain the whole fucking thing. I’ll wear it to the mall and give it to homeless people and write the explanation on their cardboard signs. It’ll all work out.

I will inspire a movement to get Randall fired and Rebecca hired. A) She’s hotter B) She’s hotter C) what?

I’m really not. My point is, you should watch this fucking show. It will fire you up like crazy. You can come to my house and watch it. Apprentice party all the way. Even if I don’t know you. Even if you’re homeless and wearing a “Fuck Randall” shirt.


Anonymous said...

Mr. Boy says this...

I too watched the show this year -- perhaps not as religiously as my roommates (often I would turn up for the last 15 or 20 minutes) but down the stretch I caught myself up to the point where I actually gave a shite.

Here's my thing with Trump...

He's an idiot and an egomaniac. A brilliant business man, yes -- but he still has a bit to learn about interacting with human beings.

I came to this realization during the episode when he fired four people, then George turned to him to say "it had to be done."

Trump slumped in his chair, puckered his lips, and with a squint that would make you think he was mimicking Al Pacino or something replied with a sullen, "Life continues."

Well holy shnikey's Trumpster, it all makes sense now!

Now I obviously don't get as emotionally wrapped up in the show as some people do, and that's okay -- for everyone -- so the results of this year's finale didn't shatter my faith in humanity by any means.

But seeing how Trump is -- and you have to agree -- the fact that he honestly sees himself as the end-all, be-all, center of all God's creation -- and that's NO EXAGGERATION -- with all that being said, I was neither shocked, nor even slightly moved with the whole Randall fiasco.

I'll agree, that there may have been a more tactful way to speak the words, but Randall had a valid argument on his side.

I grew a little more annoyed with her each week because everything she said sounded like a perfectly rehearsed four-point plan.

But did she do a fine job? Yes.

Would I have agreed to let Trump hire Rebecca too? Probably -- but mainly because she's hot and I'd be hoping for some super happy boner playtime (as my Japanese friends call it) as thanks for my good deed.

But if Trump really wanted to hire Rebecca he would have either

A) put Randall in his place and said "well you may not want her, but I do."


B) he would have hired them both -- as I, too was predicting for the last three weeks.

Now my gut tells me that Randall was a gullable cog in Trumps ridiculous self-esteem machine.

I truly feel Trump staged the controversy by putting Randall on the spot.

Either way, it would have been a water-cooler moment Friday morning.

Perhaps Trump influenced Randall a certain way (which I doubt), or he got lucky that Randall gave the answer no one wanted to hear (which is most likely the case).

The point is -- EVERYONE is talking about it.

Trump wins again.

(and did you SEE that little wiener Rebecca was dating?)

Zaki said...

Word to the Boy.

Paul said...

Yeah, Rebecca dating Napoleaon Dynamite was pretty pathetic. It's that age-old question: What the fuck is a girl like that doing with such a dweeb?

Anonymous said...

Your Apprentice watching partner says....

So after over thinking this for nearly a week....

I think Randal had every right to not share the spotlight with Rebecca. I would have done the same thing. Honestly. Sure, Rebecca was good...but Randall was the one who deserved to become the Apprentice. Honestly, if Trump wanted to hire her he would have, no matter what Randall would have said.

What really gets me are the articles about it being set up so a black man wins. (google it for the lazy to credit sources) Randall was the strongest performer from the beginning. Rebecca and the Toral fiasco showed she had bad judgment, not loyalty. She had never seen Toral perform, yet she vouched for her in the boardroom. Then when she was put to the test Toral failed her.

My shirt will say Fuck Rebecca.....